Lyrics in Progress

Comments on "who is I" (cool hook line, isn't it?):

I love these spare, meaningful lyrics that milk a lot of meaning out of a few words.

hardtwistmusic

really enjoyed reading this good example of less is more

Tony

love the word marooned!!

good write, love the short verses and chorus!

James

I could write simply to gather praise like that, these guys made my day! Do you wonder what they're talking about? This is it:

once you came crawling
a bitch in heat
craving for my touch

once you loved me
now you don't
have I changed that much?

you tell me
who's this guy
you tell me
who is I

once committed
I am true [ I changed this to: "I STAY true"]
sticking to my words

you making off
just like that
you can bet it hurts

you tell me
who's this girl
you tell me
who is you

I don't think that explanations
could help heal the wound
someday I may come to terms with
having been marooned
maybe while I'm all alone
I'll get to know myself
still I will have to live with
having never known my girl

you tell me
who's this girl
you tell me
who is you

you tell me
who's this guy
you tell me
who is I

I had got it all wrong! The chorus was the verse and vice versa. Alex and I made or rather re-defined the second part of the verse a pre-chorus - less lines to write ;-) Alex also suggested to swap the lines "where the music plays" and "where the party's on" to get the rhymes closer together (you might note that I had already changed the lines a bit). The pre-chorus now goes:

come on dancing
come on, join the fun
come on dancing
where the party's on
let's go dancing
where the music plays
keep on dancing
turn the nights to days

This is the chorus:

we keep on dancing all through the nights
while we are bathing in blazing lights
we take it easy, we've got it right
'cause we lead our lives under (the) disco light

"Under the disco light" is a much better title than the corny "keep on dancing". I love the line "we lead our live under the disco light". Let it appeal to you, and you'll see that - and why - it's a very typical Harmsen ;-)

I actually expected Alex to reject the second verse - he didn't:

when life
is reset to zero
let's go
where all folks are heroes

Have a great weekend (I'm still cooling my swollen cheek afterr a visti to the dentist, it doesn't hurt, so it's alright.).

Bernd

I'm the worm in your apple
I'm the sting in your flesh
I'm the flaw in your theory
I'm the hope that is dashed

I'm the leak in your memory
I'm the guilt that you feel
I'm the wound that keeps hurting
I'm the fly in your meal

why don't you try to accept me
as I am
we both are bound to live together
till the end
while you strive to find your paradise
here on earth
I'm making sure you recognize it
once you're there

I'm the luck you are finding
I'm the early morning sun
I'm the friend who you care for
I'm the days full of fun

***

I edited the text on the fly, making all statements singular except "the days full of fun". I also edited the line in the bridge that I was not happy with changing "we both are bound to live together anyway"  to ""we both are bound to live together till the end", thus obtaining another half-rhyme in the bridge and making it differ more from the verses. It's pretty short. I could imagine an outro that goes:

I'm the worm in your apple

(I'm the luck you are finding)

I'm the sting in your flesh

(I'm the early morning sun)
I'm the flaw in your theory

(I'm the friend who you care for)
I'm the hope that is dashed

(I'm the days full of fun)

... where the answering lines (in brackets) are sung by a second voice or a choir. It sounds cool to my ear (as always I'm 'hearing' the song while I write it). Maybe KOMIR picks this one...

I wrote the lyrics rather quickly - over the lunch break. There is one line that I want in but didn't quite match the language of the rest of the lyrics:

at an early age
you'd reached the top
you touched the stars
could not be stopped
*** banged many girls ***
basked in your fame
you made the rules
it was your game

The line in question was criticised very much because of the word "bang" - mainly by women ;-) Maybe the British would have preferred "shag"? One suggestion said to replace it with "slept with many girls". But then I came across another comment on a different board where someone criticised not that particular term, but found the "many girls" too corny. So, instead of replacing the vulgar term with a 'decent' one I now tend to make it "screwed all the girls".

This is the chorus:

too high too fast
it could not last
time has come you're falling

too slick, too steep
the fall is deep
in dirt and dust you're crawling

And here is the bridge that so far nobody seemed to understand (one got close):

take my hand if you like
I've waited for you to pass by
be my friend for a while
show me that you can flash a smile
see, I've got some cheap wine
let's have a drink on changing times
I can show you around
could teach you how to hold your ground

A hint to the attentive reader: the "cheap wine" should give you a clue at least to my own interpretation - that need not be the only valid one, mind you.

The lyrics are nothing new or special, EXCEPT the bridge that I'm really proud of.

that is: compiling, correcting, editing, maybe even rewriting a few of the 333 lyrics that I've written so far. Some will be replaced with rewrites that I've written over the time. A few - the most crappy ones - might be replaced altogether, or - in  other words - simply left out. With "am I counting" I've written my 334th text, more will follow, so I can scrap a few older lyrics and still have 333 lyrics in the collection.