Lyrics in Progress

I just told Nici that I'm a rhyme-addict. It's amazing how my 'addiction' often(!) changes the direction of my lyrics. One example is "let's procratinate" that I originally intended as derisive lyrics, making light of procrastinators (I had a particular person in mind). In the end the lyrics came out cheering(!) procrastination as a valid od even preferable  way of life.

Similar things happened to "am I counting". This could have made a rather depressing song. The chorus - that I wrote first - leaves this option open, although the first two lines are a little obscure:

am I counting three, four, five?
am I counting for my life?
do I count for you at all?
will you stop me in my fall?
am I counting

The first verse still could lead the  song in a serious direction:

I guess that I have made some mistake
that caused me to fall from grace
once you would smile at me kindly
now you're screwing up your face

In the third verse (self-)irony begins to creep in:

from love to lover I kept moving
somehow like a butterfly
my life used to be so easy
suddenly this stopped, but why?

Actually this verse has bridge-character, changing the direction of the song. The designated bridge just expands on this new direction:

when someone makes demands
it causes me to run
don't you understand
that I just want some fun
I never meant no harm
so what caused you to sway?
I must have lost my charm
why have you turned away?

I actually leave the answer open, but it's rather obvious anyway, isn't it?

Craig needed an extra syllable in the name to make the text match the tune he had in mind, so "Rachel" became "Emily". Folk-Rock. Here is the song:

"Emily" on SoundClick

... and these are its lyrics

I've completed yet another backing track with not the faintest ideas with regard to the tune - the vocal line - or the words. The chorus is very simple. I just listended to the track and found that there seems to be only room for four plus four syllables in the chorus, something like: "can you see it - can you feel it". Then there are two verses that will have four lines with about eight syllables each (could be one less in the first three lines), and a bridge with alternating eight and seven syllables (the last line might have nine). That's what I know at the moment. Maybe I should call it  "can't you feel it" and go from there?

The first complete recording. Far from perfect, mind you. The guitar got too loud, I tried to mask it by means of the equalizer. I adopted the text here and there and added the lift that I had scrapped before. And I decided to use the whole line from the chorus as its title. In the seventies the Rolling Stones danced with Mr. D. - in 2013 I refuse to do so:

"Mr. D." on SoundClick

If you want to sing along, here's the chorus:

no, Mr. D., I won't dance with you today
just watch me bouncing 'round, and listen what I say
Mr. D., I won't dance with you today
no, Mr. D., I won't dance with you today

:-)

I put the lyrics down in about half an hour so there actually would be nothing much to say about their 'progress'.

Yet I improved - I think it's improving - a line in the first verse:

I can feel your presence
I know that you've been hanging around
I rejoice when you're absent
your presence keeps dragging me down => I changed that to "your closeness keeps dragging me down", "closeness" not only avoids repeating the same word in one verse but is also more fitting.

And after discussing the text on a songwriter board I also scrapped one half of the lift. The lift - or pre-chorus - originally consisted of two parts:

I've known you since a while
and I know there's no escape
yet I'd prefer to carry on
just like I've been doing to date

I won't bid you welcome
and I guess I never will
it makes no sense if you expect
me to give in and keep still

I will do without the second part.

You see, there is a little progress - or change - even in the quick ones ;-) You'll find the complete lyrics where they are supposed to be.