working for Jen

A tune sung over the phone, 1:26 minutes, rather complex, with a very short chorus... Jen also sent a text that I hoped I could use as a template, but then my syllable count told me that his own words did not fit with the melody.

I began with the chorus. That's always a good idea, since it's supposed to carry the main idea or message of the song. Jen's provisional title was "only one night we met" which I considered rather crappy English. I made it "the first night we met", and also suggested to repeat the chorus as it seemed just too short to me. This is the chorus that I suggest:

at the first time we met
our eyes just kept locked
and the world 'round us faded away

the first night we met
our eyes just kept locked
we were dancing the ni-ight away

No real rhymes, just repetitions, and the corny, overused phrase 'dancing the night away'. But it works for my ears at least ;-)