do not hold back

I took my nonsense text with me on my vacation, so I could try to find a matching text for Alex' music without having access to its tune. I wrote a sketch for the chorus first so as to define what the song might be about. It goes:

show your love

and

go ahead, you'll get the knack

take the risk

and

just give your best, do not hold back

...

But since I posted the dummy text - i.e. my 'template' - for the verses here, let me expand on that part a bit. The dummy text (in brackets) was called "watching the black bird die". Here is what I brought back:

1. she's the girl (that) goes under your skin

(and I'm watching the black bird sing)

2. she's the price you would like to win

(and I'm watching the black bird die)

3. she's the girl right out of your dream

(and I'm watching the black bird sing)

4. but

(but)

5. you won't get her holding on to another Jim Beam

(I do not think I will have to cry anymore)

6. sitting around like you're paralyzed

(I will not have to cry anymore)

7. stupefied

(cry anymore)

8. oh no-ho

(oh no-ho)

I had put the word 'that' in brackets in the first line because this line has an extra syllable. While listening to the music today I found that the line actually fits better with that extra syllable because the intonation 'under your skin'  - stress on the first syllable - does not match 'the black bird sing' - stress on the second syllable - whereas it can be made matching 'black bird sing' if you insert an extra note for '..der'.

The lines two and three match perfectly. Line five needs an added note yet again, it sounds okay to my ear, though. Line six is yet another perfect match. Line seven isn't. I'll try to find rhymes for 'paralyzed' today. Maybe I'll simply repeat ' like paralyzed'.

For the second verse I've got:

she's the girl that makes your heart pound

her voice the most beautiful sound

she's the girl you've been hoping for

but

you won't get her if you do not come out some more

sitting around like you're paralyzed

stupefied

oh no-ho

The second line is a bit tricky. You'd have to put the stress on 'the' - which would be semantically okay, but tricky anyway. Maybe if I find another good rhyme for 'pound' ...

Next I will check Rhymezone as well as my good old Penguin Rhyming Dictionary to find rhymes for 'paralyzed' and 'pound', respectively, to improve the verses a bit. Then I will continue working on the chorus.