It must be 'do' in the bridge instead of 'did': did I have to lose you to realise how much you meant to me? DO I have to get blind before I can begin to learn to see?
I'm not quite happy with the bass track, but whatever... I've completed the accompanying tracks so I can (try to) sing the song tomorrow. Maybe I'll go over the bass track later.
I've written a new chorus: just bad luck or my stupidity is it fate or my destiny moving on to the next calamity just bad luck or my stupidity Now I still need a new third verse and maybe a bridge. I think I'll call the song, i.e. the lyrics, "bad lu...
I'm not happy with its lyrics. There's no logic in them, and particular lines sound clumsy with cumbersome rhymes. Therefore, I'm shifting, replacing, and swapping lines of text. Since I won't sing the song before friday I've got plenty of time.
I'll rename my lyrics "cry out, shout out" "cry out, scream out". "shout out" also or even primarily(?) stands for "call out" or "proclaim". I obviously want the negative implication. "scream out" is clearer.
I think I've brought order into my lyrics. The first two verses now focus on 'my' lust, namely on oral sex, the second part focuses on my submission to 'her' lust. That should make sense - in a sense ;-)
"to use to do sth." is only used in the past tense, hence the first lines now read: you always make me look the fool ...
I changed the first line of the second verse from "Latin lover, smart seducer" to "smart seducer, Latin lover" to obtain a consistent rhyming pattern - X A X A - for all verses.
While Craig is - still - working on "Rachel" and also has picked "cut and run" to set to music, I found a new partner. My new partner is female, so I'm trying to think and feel more female to come up with fitting words ;-)
Never trust 'em girls - or Craig Pavone ;-) "Emily" fits his tune better, so Craig's version of "Rachel" will be named "Emily". My own "Rachel" will remain true to me of course, since I've already done her ;-)
I posted my little lyrics collection on the Internet Archive: song cycle for a funeral
so check out my 'seasonal' links at http://bernd-harmsen.de Two summerly songs and videos by KOMIR and a very old version of "summer night" by yours truly ;-)
Would a "winning team" be better than "... must be retained". I guess so! The chorus for "what we're having" might go: what we're having is so precious what we're having a lifetime's dream what we're having is pure magic what we're having a winning team...
... the other "astray", I mean - the one I'm actually going to sing these days ;-)
I'm still not THAT sure about the title, but I have got a bridge that I like: SHE: maybe I should stop bitching 'round when I want love HE: why can't I be more self-assured where I want love BOTH: maybe it's true I just don't try enough maybe it's true...
... the result: the song on SoundClick Have a nice weekend - great weather hereabouts :-) Bernd
The year draws to a close while I keep adding to the pile. Current status is 345 lyrics plus yet another rewrite. Last one: "Beco", written for Hot Mama and matching their music. "In the morning I'll have had you" is a title I'm pondering at the moment...
I need not write a new text after all. "Where shall we end up" nearly fits perfectly. I only have to throw out two parts and edit a few lines. In my mind it flows beautifully :-)
I replaced that line mentioning wood worms with "deathwatch beetles keep on knocking". What a wonderful, lyrical name, "deathwatch beetle". I discovered it in an online thesaurus. I had to use it, it fits the mood so well ;-)
Another verse in the manner of the first two, yet two 'stories' squeezed into a single verse: a new motorbike that ran smooth and fast smashed its driver on a concrete wall some old nasty crook enjoys his old age made millions by means that appall
three steps up five steps down look up the sky crawl 'cross the ground let your soul fly while you drown Not excactly cheering, I guess... But a start for new lyrics, anyway.
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